She's Pretty Super, Even Without a Cape

People often remark, "You don't look like a
depressed person." I tell them, I'm not.
I'm a happy person, living with a
depressive disorder. - Susan Misfud

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a… middle-aged woman in a cardigan!?

“I thought I was able to leap tall buildings in a single bound,” said Susan Misfud of Niagara Falls, Ont. “I never asked for help before; I thought I could do it all myself.”

In 2010, Susan’s father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, her second marriage was deteriorating and her oldest son was battling mental health issues of his own. It was at this point, when she was dealing with many stressors, that she started “self-medicating with alcohol.”

“I never admitted I was struggling and needed help,” said Susan, a clean-cut business woman who had a succesful career in the human resources department at Brock University.

Fortunately, she realized drinking to help her cope with life’s difficulties “was a bad choice” and used it as a learning opportunity. She sought help from Community Addiction Services of Niagara (CASON) in St. Catharines and went through the rehab process there.

Susan attended a three-week program with a group of 15 others. She recalls one young woman from the treatment program who told her, “It’s funny, because you come here after work wearing your skirts and cardigans and yet you’re the same as we are.”

She agreed with her fellow group member, “There is no looking down. We are all equals. Everyone has the same opportunity to be unwell.”

Originally diagnosed with situational depression in her twenties, Susan was on and off medication for years. She was on a rollercoaster ride of emotions that took her “up and down, up and down.” Eventually, she and her doctor realized her depression and anxiety was a chronic case. She now takes medication regularly, which helps to keep her stabilized.

“If I had to take insulin because I was a diabetic, it doesn’t mean I could go out and eat all the sugar I wanted,” Susan said, explaining medication isn’t a cure-all.  “I had to change my lifestyle as well, making sure I’m sleeping properly, eating better, and exercising regularly.”

Susan said her biggest struggle was accepting that she suffered from mental illness. “It’s not something that’s transitory, but it doesn’t define who I am.”

Surprisingly, once Susan came to terms with her diagnosis, she was able to accept it as a gift. Deep introspection and self-reflection enabled her to experience an awakening which has proven to be very beneficial to her, especially in 2014 when Brock downsized and she lost her job.

After 26 years of service at Brock University, Susan, 49,

lost her job. She decided to go back to school for a Master

of Education degree. When asked to share an interesting

fact about herself with the class, she nervously blurted out,

"I'm old enough to be everyone's mom."

Susan always thought she would retire from the university where she worked for 26 years.  Although her job loss did come as a shock, she said she realized it wasn’t the worst thing that could ever happen to her.

Many people are devastated by job loss, but due to her experience with depression and anxiety she has developed a resilient character. “I spent a lot of time figuring out what gives me energy and what takes my energy,” said Susan. “I have a very good sense of who I am, what I’m passionate about and what I want to do, and I’ve been able to funnel myself into those opportunities."

Susan has been boldly sharing her journey with mental illness since she became a volunteer with the Canadian Mental Health Association (CHMA) in 2008. She is aware openly speaking about her struggle with depression, anxiety and addiction may put a damper on her job search in the Niagara Region where the “job market is not all that fabulous” to begin with.

“There is still great amount of stigma associated with mental illness and there are some employers who are going to look at that and move on, but the flip side of that is I shouldn’t be working for those organizations anyway.”

After completing a Master of Education degree last December, Susan decided to leverage her expertise in human resources to start her own business focusing on opportunities in mental health education and administrative projects.

Susan has made a progression from "self-stigma to empowerment" and has transitioned from self-acceptance to fighting for social justice. “I need to walk the talk, put myself out there,” said Susan, whose goal is to support others in their recovery journey.

With a beautiful smile and an infectious laugh, it is hard to believe anything could keep Susan from reaching her dreams. She's unstoppable.

Find out more about Susan and her inspiring story by visiting her blog, silverliningfrog. It's definitely worth the read.

All the best,
Stephanie