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People often remark, "You don't look like a
depressed person." I tell them, I'm not.
I'm a happy person, living with a
depressive disorder. - Susan Misfud |
It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a… middle-aged woman in a
cardigan!?
“I thought I was able to leap tall buildings in a single
bound,” said Susan Misfud of Niagara Falls, Ont. “I never asked for help
before; I thought I could do it all myself.”
In 2010, Susan’s father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s
disease, her second marriage was deteriorating and her oldest son was battling mental
health issues of his own. It was at this point, when she was dealing with many
stressors, that she started “self-medicating with alcohol.”
“I never admitted I was struggling and needed help,” said
Susan, a clean-cut business woman who had a succesful career in the human resources department at Brock University.
Fortunately, she realized
drinking to help her cope with life’s difficulties “was a bad choice” and used
it as a learning opportunity. She sought help from Community Addiction Services
of Niagara (CASON) in St. Catharines and went through the rehab process there.
Susan attended a three-week program with a group of 15
others. She recalls one young woman from the treatment program who told her, “It’s
funny, because you come here after work wearing your skirts and cardigans and
yet you’re the same as we are.”
She agreed with her fellow group member, “There
is no looking down. We are all equals. Everyone has the same opportunity to be unwell.”
Originally diagnosed with situational depression in her
twenties, Susan was on and off medication for years. She was on a rollercoaster
ride of emotions that took her “up and down, up and down.” Eventually, she and
her doctor realized her depression and anxiety was a chronic case. She now
takes medication regularly, which helps to keep her stabilized.
“If I had to take insulin because I was a diabetic, it
doesn’t mean I could go out and eat all the sugar I wanted,” Susan said, explaining
medication isn’t a cure-all. “I had to
change my lifestyle as well, making sure I’m sleeping properly, eating better, and
exercising regularly.”
Susan said her biggest struggle was accepting that she
suffered from mental illness. “It’s not something that’s transitory, but it doesn’t
define who I am.”
Surprisingly, once Susan came to terms with her diagnosis,
she was able to accept it as a gift. Deep introspection and self-reflection
enabled her to experience an awakening which has proven to be very beneficial
to her, especially in 2014 when Brock downsized and she lost her job.
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After 26 years of
service at Brock University, Susan, 49,
lost her job. She
decided to go back to school for a Master
of Education degree.
When asked to share an interesting
fact about herself
with the class, she nervously blurted out,
"I'm old enough
to be everyone's mom." |
Susan always thought she would retire from the university
where she worked for 26 years. Although
her job loss did come as a shock, she said she realized it wasn’t the worst
thing that could ever happen to her.
Many people are devastated by job loss, but due to her
experience with depression and anxiety she has developed a resilient character.
“I spent a lot of time figuring out what gives me energy and what takes my energy,”
said Susan. “I have a very good sense of who I am, what I’m passionate about
and what I want to do, and I’ve been able to funnel myself into those
opportunities."
Susan has been boldly sharing her journey with mental
illness since she became a volunteer with the Canadian Mental Health
Association (CHMA) in 2008. She is aware openly speaking about her struggle with
depression, anxiety and addiction may put a damper on her job search in the Niagara
Region where the “job market is not all that fabulous” to begin with.
“There is
still great amount of stigma associated with mental illness and there are some
employers who are going to look at that and move on, but the flip side of that
is I shouldn’t be working for those organizations anyway.”
After completing a Master of Education degree last December, Susan decided to leverage her expertise in human resources to start her own business focusing on opportunities in mental health education and administrative projects.
Susan has made a progression from "self-stigma to empowerment" and has transitioned from self-acceptance to fighting for social justice. “I need to walk the talk, put myself out there,” said Susan, whose goal is to support others in their recovery journey.
With a beautiful smile and an infectious laugh, it is hard to believe anything could keep Susan from reaching her dreams. She's unstoppable.
Find out more about Susan and her inspiring story by visiting her blog, silverliningfrog. It's definitely worth the read.
All the best,
Stephanie
Ultimately, I
realize my acomplishments cannot be measured by marks and the true value of my
efforts may not be tangible for months or even years to come. I did, however,
achieve my main goals: build self-confidence and improve self-esteem,
practice and polish my writing skills, acquire formal training in Mac OS and
desktop publishing, and make new friends and business contacts.
